Sons – Don’t Feel Bad that I Only Have Boys!

I am active on the web, so I see a lot of opinions floating around out there. There is a huge one that irks me – that is when I see any reference of having sons as a “Scary” or “Bad” thing. Moms seem to think they are too energetic … or even “dirty”. These potential (or already) parents want the girl to dress up, brush  hair, do make-up… Somehow it’s become okay to make fun of sons and boys in the process.

But really, that’s the reason for making a new life? To have a breathing doll?

So I am here to set the record straight. As a mom of two boys, I would not exchange them or want something in a tutu in their place. I am not saying I would not have loved a daughter, but my little eggs and my husband’s sperms created the “XY” twice.

You know all of those guys daughters are going to date? Yah, I have those two of them. And I am planning on doing a great job of raising two intelligent, gorgeous inside-and-out boys that will treat them with respect. But if you have preconceived notions that boys are bad – you are doing no one any favor. Of course those daughters are going to bring the “bad boy” home – what else it out there.

You know what boys like to do? Imagine, read, color, play outside … yah and they do a lot of climbing too. But my experience is that lots of little kids – girls and boys – climb. The boys play with action figures, they kiss mommy, they help me in the kitchen, they stomp around in my shoes and my husband’s. They try to swim…in the bathtub, they do gymnastics … at library time, they listen … as well as an preschoolers will. And they make me LAUGH.

Are there some obviously more “boyish” things they do? Yes, they will never tell me they want a pink pettiskirt, instead they charge around proclaiming they are Jedis and any stick can be their light saber. And they don’t want me to braid their hair, instead they tell me I am a Mommy Monster so I chase them.

Really, where is the bad part? Hard to potty train – anyone who knows me in person or has read my blog knows the boys were potty trained before turning 2. Not verbal? My Mom’s Club friend says it’s a blessing, compared to her girls. And honestly, it’s a personality thing – my oldest is quiet – my youngest not so much?

Dirty? No, they get baths multiple times a day. Yes, they do get DIRT ON THEM when they play in the backyard. And they have a knack for being covered in marker when coloring – but they are not ICKY or DIRTY, words I’ve seen used to describe boys.

And finally, do you think on some level your sons might realize that you would have preferred a girl if you keep obsessing about it? Not healthy for anyone, especially since it is out of your hands! It’s all up to the fastest sperm!

So there is my rant. Boys are gorgeous, awesome, fun. Don’t cry about pettiskirts, because there is more to a child than the outfits they wear.

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Comments

  1. Very well written! I can’t believe how much your boys have grown!!

  2. When I was very first pregnant with my oldest, I was very disappointed when they said “boy.” BUT, he is FUN! And when I was pregnant with twins and was again told “boys,” this time I was thrilled.

    Boy’s are neat little creatures full of fun and orneriness. The make me laugh multiple times a day. I love the fact that I can put on some old jeans and a t-shirt and send them out into the mud to play. I don’t imagine you can do that with many girls. 🙂

    So I understand what you are saying here. I think people without boys don’t understand…I suppose the way us with no girls don’t understand that side. But I don’t feel I’m missing out on anything with my loves.

    • Thanks for your comment, Rhea. My sister was the first one pregnant and she wanted the girl the first time around – and she got the boy. She loved being a mom of a boy so much, she wanted a boy the second time around too! She got a girl.

      Moral of the story – my sister never gets what she wants. LOL. And I think as women some of us are afraid of what boys will bring and they get these whacky ideas that it’s easier/better to have the girl. But it’s just different. And every girl is different too. Some will want the pink – some will be tom boys.

      Some boys are overly energetic, some aren’t.

      I love that you have three boys! It must be a wonderful home!

      Happy Buzzing!

      Erin T.

  3. My first thought when I read the whole “boys are icky” line, is how immature are these people? Anyone who thinks boys are still gross must be perpetually stuck in the 1st grade.

    As a mom to one little boy, I can agree with you that boys are fun, imaginative, sweet, and energetic. These people need to realize, it’s not a boy versus girl thing, it’s just a kid thing. Every child is different, and their sex doesn’t determine who they are.

    Oh, and the marker thing? What is that?! My little one came home from school with marker on his chin one day and on the back of his head the next, lol!

    • LOL! Definitely, they get COVERED with marker, right? From their nose to their toes … and my littlest one loves coloring his belly button too! HA!

      I definitely think that we need to be respectful of moms with boys – and that means not acting as if it’s better to have girls. Maybe we have so much “girl pride and power” that some people take it out on little boys? I have no clue, but it makes me wonder.

      Happy Buzzing!

      Erin

  4. Great post. I agree. My two little boys are such blessings, so full of smiles, enery and life. They teach me so much! I had never been around little boys much before them. I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. And, who says you can’t do their hair and dress em up. One of my favorite things is dressing them the same and styling their hair (in boys styles of course) and taking lots of photos of them!

    • You’re right! You can style their hair and pick cute clothes out for boys. I love “rock apparel” for them – and they like it too. And my nephew is forever in Gap. LOL!

      Happy Buzzing!

      Erin T.

  5. I can’t agree with you more. I grew up with only a sister so I didn’t know boys at all. I always thought I’d have to have a girl, mostly to have the great relationship I’ve always had with my mom. And you know what? Now I could care less. While I think it would be very cool to have a girl, I love my boys more than anything and would never trade them for girls. They are loving, energetic, VERY VERBAL and so sweet. My three year old just baked me a birthday cake yesterday (made up of strawberries, a lemon and a pancake- all play food) and sang happy birthday to me. It wasn’t my birthday. He told me he wanted to make me something special because he loves me. My boys melt my heard daily. Yes, they are boys so yes, they love getting dirty and drive me crazy sometimes climbing and jumping off furniture. But they are special, unique and the total cat’s meow. Not scary in the least. People need to stop stereotyping.

    • How sweet is that! See, they love and hug on moms just like girls can and do. Nothing means more than my son wanting to tell me he loves me, hug me, kiss me … I love that your son made you a cake and sang you happy birthday! It sounds like a sweet “party” and memory!

      Happy Buzzing!

      Erin T.

  6. Love it, love it, love it. I am the mom of a two year old boy and a one year old girl. Let me tell you, my daughter is NOT any easier than my son. She gets dirty, she climbs, etc, etc, etc. Sure, I can put cute skirts on her, but in all fairness, she wears a lot of blue thanks to being second born. My son is a lovebug. He loves to “help” do the dishes, cook, sweep, and fold laundry. I wouldn’t trade either of mine for anything, but I love the fact that I have a son.
    Following now from MomDot.
    Virginia
    http://ladyvdzine.com

  7. My son is dirty but not eww dirty…he’s a boy. He likes mud, bugs and creepy crawly things. Thank goodness too because when his Dad is at work my “dirty” boy saves me from those things! LOL He also laughs at farts, burps and likes to wear no shirt. He slices and dices with his fake swords. Karate chops all those invisible bad guys. And you know what I wouldn’t change it for the world. I have two girls and one boy. One precious little boy who loves mud and loves his mama!

    • Thank you for replying as a mom with girls too! Because I love girls, too. I have a niece and a goddaughter and think they are cheeky and fun. But that’s why I love them – their personality!

      Happy Buzzing!

      Erin T.

  8. Growing up, I never wanted boys. I grew up with three sisters and four boy cousins — my cousins were MEAN and GROSS! So, I decided it was a boy thing and I didn’t want them.

    When we started the adoption process, we didn’t request a girl. We just wanted a baby. I no longer cared about having a girl or boy. Just so happens, God brought us a girl.

    A girl who loves dresses but also loves hunting for snails and lizards.

    A girl who loves her baby dolls but also loves to build things with her blocks.

    A girl who loves having her nails painted but also can get dirtier than any little boy I know.

    When I became pregnant with our second child, I knew from the first moment that I was having a boy. And, I’ll admit it, I was nervous. I knew NOTHING about being a boy mommy — I was so used to girls.

    Even though he is only 7 months old, I absolutely LOVE it. He’s already so much more cuddly than my daughter and is a definite Mama’s Boy. There is nothing scary about being a boy mommy.

    Besides, he’s fun to dress up too!!!!! Hello? Sweater Vests? Little polo shirts? Dress shirts? Hats? I’m having a ball dressing my little man!

  9. I have 3 boys and agree with everything you said. Sure I would like to buy pink once and awhile but so be it, I dress myself in pink instead lol. The only thing I fear is being “the mother in law”. I hear woman all the time rant about theirs and I pray I have great daughters in law while I try to be the best MIL I can.

    • Susan – yes, we will be “the Mother in Laws”. But I think we can learn from other mother in laws what we should do and not do! LOL! I will vow now not accuse any girl of stealing away my babies when they are 30. LOLOL.

      And I LOVE Pink. I buy pink for me all the time!

      Happy Buzzing!

      Erin T.

  10. my boys get dirty. When they get overly dirty from being outside they come in and get a bath. For talking I have one who will talk my ear off and another who only talks to you when he feels it is important.

    I love my boys all the more for their little quirks.

    Well said rant.

    • That’s what gets me! All the negative things I hear … it’s insane. Boys are special… and washable. LMAO.

      Happy Buzzing!

      Erin T.

  11. I have a boy and a girl and I ALWAYS tell ppl that my son is sooo much more loving than my daughter. My daughter has a Diva attitude while my son plays it cool.
    Kas

    • LOL! Some girls can be divas. The other day my 4-year old niece whispered to her brother, after ordering her mom to cut some strawberries, that her mom was her servant! Oh boy, was my sister PISSED! LOL!

      I don’t think boys think of us as they servants, since they aren’t into princess stuff… usually. LOL.

      Thanks for the Comment Luv! You ladies keep me sane!

      Erin T.

  12. You know, I do enjoy having a girl, but part of that is because my brothers, cousins and friends all had boys. I’ the first one with a girl. 😀 And she is a lot like me. She is a girly tomboy. She climbs, plays in the dirt, pretends she’s a Jedi…all of the things you said your boys do, in a frilly dress or tutu. I love my daughter. I wouldn’t have t any other way.

    But I also pray to be able to have a boy. Because I know how to raise those. I’ve helped my brother and friends do it. LOL The girl thing has a much steeper learning curve. 😛

    And in my husband’s side of the family, everyone has girls.

    I just think people should be happy that God gave them a child at all, no matter the gender.

    • Shan,

      Possibly I take it extra personal since I’ve had two losses … at least that’s my sister’s theory. So I agree with that last statement, I am thankful for having two healthy children – boy or girl, it doesn’t matter.

      How adorable your daughter likes to be a Jedi too! There are Ahsoka costumes right now too! Easier for girls to pretend now!

      Happy Buzzing!

      Erin T.

  13. Well I think you know how I feel. 😉 Boys are great. Not once have I ever thought of them as icky or dirty – seriously who would think that? I won’t lie, I would have liked to have a girl in there somewhere. But now that I have my 4 boys I couldn’t be happier. Yes they can get crazy and run around like lunatics, but they are also snuggly and very loving, especially to their mama.

    And don’t you love how anything in your house can be turned intoa weapon – especially lightsabers! They use Hotwheels cars as lightsabers, train tracks, anything!

    • You are definitely lucky whatever the outcome, boy or girl. Whatever the gender of your kids, I know you will love them. But you do have your hands full – not because you have boys… but because you have FOUR! Heehee. Four very handsome boys – who share the Star Wars obsessions. LOLOL.

      Straws. Straws are one of my favorite “light sabers”. Ah, and did you know you can build your own lightsaber, totally personalize color, handle, etc, at Disney??? Just an FYI, since I know your fam. likes it too.

      HUGS!

      Erin T.

  14. You go girl!!!

    I think you are completely right on with this one-
    Some people just don’t know how to get bast stereotypes.

    I would be honored if my daughter dated one of your boys… just saying.

    But we have a long time until that would happen!

  15. I didn’t read all the comments, but I also have 2 boys. When I get the boy naysayer comments (usually in the form of “Well aren’t you going to try for a girl?”) I have an answer. I respond with “Why would I want to do that? Girls get PMS and turn mean when they’re in their preteen years for at least that one week a month.” It’s stopped many a person in their tracks who have the “icky boy” argument. This usually only comes from people who have little daughters or granddaughters, and they haven’t yet hit the PMS years. They don’t think about the hormones. Another good response is “Yes, but when you have a girl and they start dating, you have to worry about ALL the penises out there. I only have to worry about TWO.” Tellin’ ya, it shuts them up EVERY time and gives you a good chuckle as you walk away.

    • LMAO! I think saying penis in any conversation will shut people up!

      And I did get that question recently, from an unmarried friend, if I was going to try for the girl? I told him I was happy with my two boys. But I am no longer replying pleasantly to that question! Grrrr….

      Have fun with your boys!

      Erin T.

  16. I have a girl, but a girl that is never in a tutu LOL! She plays with dolls, but dress up is something that happens maybe once every two or three months 😉 really, she goes to the store and picks a car or toys they say are for boys!

    I kind of wanted a girl before I was pregnant.When she was borne I was excited, but also will be honest, hope that our next child is a boy 😉

    I don’t think this is better than that, I will love my children the same no matter what they are 🙂

    BTW your boys are beautiful!!!

    • Awww – thanks for the compliment. I am in love with my boys. LOL. I think its cool your daughter likes to play with “boy toys”. You gotta throw out those stereotypes, right?

      Happy Buzzing!

      Erin T.

      • Our family thinks that I should teach her that some toys or cartoons are only for boys and some for girls, and I don’t get it. I was never a girlie girl, even though I was dressed like a ballerina doll 🙂 but loved chasing around with boys from the neighborhood. So I never expected my daughter to be a girlie girl! I like making all sorts of clothing for girls, but after 5th tutu that she wore only once I stopped LOL

  17. Honestly, when I was pregnant I secretly wanted a boy, and that is what we got! My little man will be turning a year this month and I couldn’t be more happy. There is something about boys that make them special dispite all the dirt.

    My husband is petrified by little girls (well not so much little girls, 16 year old girls)! I am hoping we get another boy the next time.

    I love being the only girl in a house full of boys.

  18. Whoever said girls are easier is welcome to one afternoon of babysitting who I affectionately refer to as the “KAZmanian Devil” (her initials are KAZ).

    I LOVE having boys (14 and 8) and I LOVE having a girl (2). I couldn’t imagine any parent not feeling completely blessed to have either gender when so many can’t experience the wonderment of child raising.

    In due time, the mothers that hate the chaos, the energy, and the dirt will miss the memories that followed. They’ll miss the pitter-patter of little feet. They’ll miss the little handprints on the windows. And they’ll miss hearing their name called from down the hall.

    I treasure every moment. Even those that drive me up a wall. Why? Because I know that these days are too short and opportunities too limited to not enjoy every waking minute with my kids.

    Boy or girl, consider yourself blessed.

    • Well said, Greg! I just hope people think 2x about making derogatory comments or stereotypical comments about boys! That gender bias kills me since some moms seem to think it’s okay to speak openly about it in front of other moms – even in front of moms of boys.

      I believe many parents are in your place with the “terrible twos”. You have the KAZmanian Devil. I have the Lochness Monster. (Lochlan is my youngest).

      Happy Buzzing!

      Erin T.

    • You are so right! As I’ve said before girls are not easier to raise as some think, and I can’t understand why some people think this is better than that, when in reality we all are blessed and child no matter what gender is a gift to have! I for one never think that boys are harder or messier, I think kids are kids and will be kids that we need to cherish those moments because they do grow up so fast!

    • I will miss all that, but I don’t think I’ll miss finding boogers in random places. LOL That’s about all I’ll miss though.

  19. hippie4ever says:

    I just wanted a healthy child, but was thrilled to have a boy! As the youngest in a family of 3 children, two eldest being boys, I was a tom boy…my friends had boys and that was/is what I know/love. My son is only a yr, but he is the sweetest! He will pick out a book and climb into your lap to be read a story, loves to cuddle, be chased, knock over blocks, put rocks and sticks in his mouth (when he gets the chance), he loves the broom and vacuum (I don’t know why); he has eaten a ladybug but also loves chocolate 🙂 He is just himself and he is the BEST!!

    • Awww – your son sounds ADORABLE! At 1 they can just be so sweet! And yah, my little one has eaten some horrible things! LOL! But it makes for good stories and I was the same way when I was his age.

      Happy Buzzing!

      Erin T.

  20. At the moment my child was born (before the days of ultrasound) I was wide awake when the nurse announced “Oooh, he has a tassle!” I felt a HUGE rush of relief wash over me as I realized I had my BOY!! – a preference I’d NEVER have admitted to myself while I was busy choosing girl and boy names, girl and boy nursery decor, girl and boy infant toys and clothes. As it developed, he is my only child, and I could not have a more delightful progeny if I’d spent years designing him myself. And when I see the drama and angst my sister has had to go through with a daughter — well, I have congratulated myself every day that I have my son.

    Parents are supposed to prefer girls? Oh, excuse me!! I never got the memo.

  21. LOL. I’ve gotten that memo way too many times. My niece does crack me up with what she comes up with! But I do love having boys … obviously!

    Happy Buzzing!

    Erin T.

  22. I am the opposite of most women I guess! I have always wanted to be the mom with a houseful of boys. I would be happy if I never had a daughter. Yes, I would love to have a girl to shop with, relate to, dress up etc, but if I didn’t I wouldn’t be disappointed. When I got pregnant, I knew it was a boy. I love having a son, and cant wait to have more!

  23. I’m a new follower by the way. Just because of this post. 🙂

    • Lindsey,

      I am following your site too! Thank you for stopping by! I think your son is ADORABLE! i can definitely see why you love being a mom to a cutie like him!

      Happy Buzzing!

      Erin T.

  24. I never think of my boys as icky. But I do want a girl really bad. I have two boys, I’d like a girl. But I don’t want to trade mine in or anything. LOL

    Lee

  25. Do I even need to say anything? I think not. (but i will)

    I wouldn’t exchange their little boosts of testosterone for anything – ever! I have enough estrogen for this house, certainly don’t need another one of me.

  26. Julie Cutshaw says:

    I agree with you 100%. I had a girl grown now of 28yrs and I miscarried a little boy at 5 months and I never got to exsperience the love of a boy of my own. And then my daughter was blessed with my grandson who is the light of my life! His smile his loving ways his heart of love is just a joy & blessing in my life each day & I thank God for my little sunshine 🙂

    • I am so sorry about your loss. That had to have been tough. I am so glad you have a grandson to hug and hold! My mom always wanted a boy and she had two daughters. But my sister and I have given her 3 grandsons who definitely keep her on her toes! If I am the Mommy Monster, my mom is the “Nema Monster” and she chases them around the house. It funny, cute and memorable.

      Hugs!

      Erin
      http://www.themombuzz.com

  27. Tamara B. says:

    I have three boys and one girl believe me I would have hundren boys over a girl. Boys are fun and I know tough but girls it is always drama 🙂

  28. I totally agree! I’m a mommy of two boys too and I have gotten some interesting comments. Don’t get me wrong ~ girls are beautiful in their own way but so are boys!

  29. hi erin! i came across your website from the link you left @ slimperfect (btw, just purchased a slimdress!!) and i love your perspective on boys. I have two daughters, 6 & 3 – oldest is a sensitive princess, youngest is a rough and tumble teeny little “devil” (def the instigator in our family!!) and our 1 year old son was the PERFECT addition, and ending to our family. I think my position is, STOP GENDER SPECIFIC TOYS!! I am all for tutus, tiaras, and little hotwheel cars and tonka… but I do not take a baby out of my sons hands, or rip off the tiara he puts on his head (we pretend he is the king) and when our rough little lady would rather dig in the dirt and push around some trucks, we are over joyed. We just let them play with whatever we have, we have it all, and its all free-game. LOVE the site!

  30. Great Post! I have one son and just found out that I am pregant with my second. When I found out that my first was a boy, I was sad. The visions of taking her to dance and buying dresses were in my head. For this one I am thrilled to be having a son. My first son is my world and he’s so much fun to be around (extra energy and all). I just get really upset that when I tell people that we’re having another boy they turn depressed. Some to the point of apologizing. That is what bothers me. Thanks for posting on the joy of being a mom to boys!

    • Congratulations on boy #2! My boys are 19 months apart and they are so close! Plus, it’s a major perk that the second one always has clothes handed down from his older brother … and toys 2! And they learn so much from each other (good and bad!) I hope you have a fun, easy pregnancy!

      (And my sister was a little upset when she found out her first was a boy – but that kid is so much like his mom now – more than her daughter – that it was definitely a blessing that she had him! Gender does not mean closeness… KWIM? There are bonds that go further than shopping!)

      :hugs: and Happy Buzzing!

      Erin T.
      http://www.themombuzz.com

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